Saturday, November 14, 2009
I'm Sorry Tat I'm Sick ♥
12:20 AM
hey.. it's been a long long time!! i actually thought of quit
bloggin.. but i remember there's one more thing to say..
i'm not an extremely healthy person.. i suffer from a spinal disorder, scoliosis.. my mother has spent a large amount of money on this.. and i have no idea how to thank her..
eventhough it doesn't cure but she's trying her very best to make sure my back doesn't get worse.. we went from seeing chiropractor to orthopedic surgeon.. total cost is about 10k for the chiropractor and 18k for the operation..
it may not be a large amount for some of you.. but as a girl from a moderate family, i think tat amount of money is a large amount.. and i don like my mom to spend it all on me
juz because
i'm sick.. i feel tat at times, you wouldn't like to spend money.. especially when you can only spend on your health and not pleasure..
i admit i envy my bro and sis for getting all the thongs they wanted.. but to think it over,
i'm the one spending the most money in the family.. i am still wondering why it took me so long to realize.. it's hard to accept things from my family now as i think i am the cause for them to live such a life..
if
i'm not sick.. if i don spend tat much money.. if i
juz can stop being so materialistic.. i think i would save a whole lot of money.. not only for me, but also my family..
i am finally ready to confess this.. i am not a good daughter
meither am i a good sibling.. sometimes i wish tat i could turn back time.. to correct all the things
i've done.. to tell them how much i appreciate them.. to tell them how lonely my life would be without them.. to make myself healthier..
i'm so very sorry mom and dad,
mel and
dex.. i know how much trouble
i've brought to this family.. and i really regret for all those hurtful words i said.. for those temper i threw at home.. for all those stupid rights and wrongs..
i'm sorry..
now tat this post is
comin to an end, i guess there's nothing else i can say.. this post is specially written for the love of my family.. and i can promise to lead a better life in the future.. to be a good girl and a happy part of the family.. and again.. i wanna apologize tat
i'm sick.. i don ask for this.. i hope you understand.. til then..
*this might be my last post here.. i wanna quit blogging since there's nothing i can reveal bout my life.. this is an end for my life, my story..
i'm sorry if my words hurt you.. but tat the real me.. i can't fake myself to be an angel tat i don wanna be.. now tat i know my mistakes, i hope tat i'm forgiven..
*remember. when you have no one to turn to you have your family!! and of course you have me..
RIP my blog!!! -amanda-